Alexander Wicken (he/they) is a multi-sport athlete, an activist, and self-described “advocate for queer and trans joy.” Alexander graduated from Brandeis University in 2023 and now works as a grant writer outside Boston.

Keshet: What role has sports played in your life?

Sports have allowed me to be silly and joyous even when at my lowest. I came out as transgender to my family and close friends when I was 13 and immediately faced a lot of transphobia and queerphobia. My reprieve in those moments was my access to athletics. Even today, when I am at practice, a meet, or a game, everything else in the world disappears for a little bit and all I care about is the game in front of me. Sports have the power to help all children in so many ways, and trans kids who already face so many hardships in our society should never be excluded from that experience.

Keshet: How has your trans identity affected your experience on a sports team?

I spent multiple years in the closet while playing lacrosse and, sadly, this pushed me to fall out of love with the sport a little bit. I didn’t come out as trans to my teammates and coaches until my sophomore year of high school. Unfortunately, I didn’t find the acceptance that I needed and quit the sport in my junior year. I regularly think about what my future in that sport could have been had I found the unconditional support that all children should receive from their coaches and teammates. Leaving lacrosse allowed me to focus more seriously on the second sport that I fell in love with, fencing. Fencing is a gendered sport, but at my high school the women’s and men’s squads practiced together as one team, which allowed me to feel more comfortable at practice. Fencing was the first place where I truly felt like I could be myself as both an athlete and a person. In college at Brandeis University, I fenced for three years on the women’s team and one year on the men’s team after beginning my medical transition. I would not be the person that I am today if it were not for the support that the fencing community gave me. Since graduating college in 2023 I have stepped away from fencing to focus on a third sport that has drastically shaped my life, quadball (formerly known as quidditch). Quadball is the most gender inclusive sport in the world, with specific policies allowing athletes to self-identify their gender identity. Before every game the referee crew must check with both teams to make sure they have the correct pronouns for all competing athletes. Joining the quadball team at Brandeis showed me how inclusive sports can be. 

Keshet: In your advocacy work for trans inclusion in sports, what misconceptions or challenges have you faced?

Some of the biggest misconceptions I have faced are related to the topic of fairness. People will say that trans women or transfeminine people have an advantage over cisgender women. This has been shown to be false and completely disregards the many advantages that cisgender athletes can have and the many disadvantages that trans athletes face in a cis-dominated sports world. It is so important that we don’t villainize trans athletes in general, but especially when they win. Let trans kids see themselves in collegiate and professional trans athletes’ success without trying to explain away that success. As more and more governing bodies try to force trans athletes out of sports, my heart breaks for both the talented trans athletes currently fighting for a chance (like all of their cis counterparts) and for the trans kids who will be scared away from certain sports because they don’t see people like themselves represented among those they look up to.

Keshet: How does your Judaism inform your advocacy work?

The two guiding principles in most of my life are that I have a responsibility to social justice and to do what I can to heal the world. For me personally that means trying to invite people in to learn and advocating for trans kids in the way that I wish someone had advocated for me. Whether an athlete is playing in a youth rec league, at the high school level, the NCAA, or even the Olympics, trans people are deserving of the same experiences as their cisgender peers. Sports are one of the greatest blessings in my life, being a trans person has given me empathy and joy that words cannot describe. Being a trans athlete has made me who I am.

For more information about trans kids and sports, check out All Your Questions About Trans Kids and Sports, Asked and Answered part of Self Magazine’s Let Them Play project, as well as Athlete Ally.